I slept in my car, traveled the country three times, and even got lost in the desert. In the years since starting over, I volunteered on a farm, managed a small grocery store in the middle of nowhere, lost my dog, found my way, and started my own company.

Nobody tells you how hard it is to outgrow yourself. That’d be nice to know. I can tell you this: it’s exhausting. Between who I’m learning to be and the memories of who I was, I feel like I’m going crazy. “Old memories are like corpses, the more you dig them up the worse they look.”

How do you bring calm into an environment that’s been running on survival? When you’re trying to build something steady with tools that were designed for something else entirely?

Right now, I’m in a strange place. Quiet. Confusing. A little foggy. And I’m not in a panic (although in the past I would’ve been). You know how the Stoics say, “focus on what you can change”? I’m there but not in the “focus” part; I’m in the part after that. The “there’s-nothing-else-I-can-do-now-what” part. The silence. The wait.

You know what’s so strange about life? Some chapters matter so deeply, but aren’t meant to last. Lessons I’ve learned lately:

Lately I’ve been thinking about how easy it is to slip into autopilot. Some days I don’t even realize I’ve drifted until something catches me off guard. Days blur together, routines take over. I’ve lived whole stretches of my life like that without noticing.

There are people I love deeply who I may not hear from for a while. Maybe a long while. Life shifts like that sometimes — without ceremony, without closure, without a final conversation to make sense of it. I used to think love meant staying close. Now I’m learning it also means holding space from afar.

Even in stillness, things are unfolding. Rest.

I’ve been doing a lot of work on myself these past few years; steady, intentional work. More aware. More honest with myself. More willing to look at what’s actually going on inside of me. And I’m learning how to trust it.

I’ve been doing a lot of work on myself these past few years; steady, intentional work. More aware. More honest with myself. More willing to look at what’s actually going on inside of me. And I’m learning how to trust it.

I’ve been doing a lot of work on myself these past few years; steady, intentional work. More aware. More honest with myself. More willing to look at what’s actually going on inside of me. And I’m learning how to trust it.

I’ve been doing a lot of work on myself these past few years; steady, intentional work. More aware. More honest with myself. More willing to look at what’s actually going on inside of me. And I’m learning how to trust it.